It looks like Candy Crush vomited on an 80s Casio watch.

It looks like Candy Crush vomited on an 80s Casio watch.

yerawizardamanda:

Do you ever just look at other people and wonder what it would be like to not need to take medicine every day just to function properly?

Oh, Hell yes!

(via redcloud)

4estabon:

Pick only the best people to be around,

And only the strongest to lean on.

Because closure is for the living,

And honor, for the gone.

—Forrest Lane

A short poem, written the day of a funeral, 9/6/14

Scrambled Eggs

I wish I could adequately describe the amount of energy it took for me to overcome the depression-fueled inertia in order to make the scrambled eggs I just ate.

Something about that sentence looks wrong. Fuck it. It took a lot of energy for me to get up and make scrambled eggs. Apparently, writing is just as hard for me as making scrambled eggs.

Also, I don’t know who is in charge of buying peanut butter for me, but come morning, their ass is fired. No peanut butter in the apartment is not an option.

Missed opportunity

wordishness:

Why didn’t anyone tell me that today is breast and testicle self-examination day? I could’ve been making all kinds of inappropriate jokes.

Sorry.

I guess we left you hangin’.

Things I learned today, part too

1. The pack of Velveeta cheese slices in my fridge (I can smell you judging me and it’s not appreciated) has an expiration/best when used by date. The pack of hot dogs which has been in the fridge for several months, does not have a an expiration/best when used by date on it. That seems odd to me. I would like to know when my weiners are about to expire.

2. Two days after Labor Day is not a good day to buy hot dogs at my local grocery store. The only items to choose from were turkey dogs, chicken dogs, and turkey and chicken dogs with beef and pork added (What?). Oh, there was also a beef hot dog that was skinless. I assume some of you are making a circumcision joke right about now.

3. My grocery store is no longer selling coke cans with names on them. The current marketing campaign has to do with ESPN and college football. I will miss sharing a coke with Ashleigh, Sarah, Legend, Friend, Star, and BFF. I will not miss sharing a coke with SOULMATE BECAUSE I DON’T NEED TO BE REMINDED THAT I HAVEN’T FOUND MINE YET.

I have “Up All Night” by the Boomtown Rats stuck in my head. It’s not helping me go to sleep.

Tumblr outage was totally my fault. I had just finished a post about how I’m tired of enduring tumblr removing hearts from posts that I hearted. 

I clicked published. The post didn’t show up. Then this happened. 

I promise not to complain about tumblr again. 

Probably.

Edited to add: oh great the tumblr complaint post showed up. I hope it doesn’t crash tumblr again.

Tumblr outage was totally my fault. I had just finished a post about how I’m tired of enduring tumblr removing hearts from posts that I hearted.

I clicked published. The post didn’t show up. Then this happened.

I promise not to complain about tumblr again.

Probably.

Edited to add: oh great the tumblr complaint post showed up. I hope it doesn’t crash tumblr again.

Things I am tired of enduring.

Tumblr apps and the tumblr web site removing the hearts from posts I put hearts on previously. This is especially frustrating for me as I’m worried about memory loss lately.

Oh, I said things, plural. So, depression makes it a plural. This is not a I’m Gonna kill myself reference.